


Gluteus Maximus

by amerasu1013 (amerasu_1013)



Series: Halloween ficlets [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Humor, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 22:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5067388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amerasu_1013/pseuds/amerasu1013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky chose a Halloween costume that shows off certain... assets (ass-ets). Steve does NOT approve. ... Or does he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gluteus Maximus

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a fic for [zilldk](http://archiveofourown.org/users/zilldk)'s birthday, who I made give me prompts. She wanted something nice and sweet for Steve and Bucky, without angst, possibly involving Halloween or pumpkins. Since I am... well, ME there IS a tiny hint of angst in here, but mostly it's fun and cuteness. No pumpkins, but I wrote a second birthday fic that has some, I'll put that up in the next few days.  
> And the usual warnings: I do not own the characters, Marvel owns them (and my heaaaaart), I'm just playing with them for my own and other people's amusement. Also English is not my native tongue and this is un-betaed, since I couldn't really make zilldk beta her own birthday present, right? ;) So, if you notice any mistakes, please let me know!!  
> And now I'm gonna stop before the notes get longer than the actual fic...

“What is _that_?!” Steve asks, no – _gasps_ , all shocked and clutching his non-existent pearls.

“It’s my costume! A sexy gladiator! Don’t you like it?” Bucky preens a little, showing off his tiny leather loincloth and his sword. “Awesome, right? You can call me Maximus. _Gluteus_ Maximus.”

“What? No! You can’t wear that! People can see your nipples!”

Is Steve blushing? He totally is blushing, aww. How adorable!

“That’s kinda the point.” Bucky explains and feels all giddy under Steve’s disbelieving and _roaming_ gaze. “I can’t just wear a shirt, can I, I’m a _gladiator_. A _sexy_ gladiator. No shirts.”

Steve splutters. Bucky starts feeling a little sad, he maybe kind of picked out the costume especially _for_ Steve. Showing off his assets, so to speak, so Steve would finally realize how friggin’ hot Bucky is and that he should really, really kiss him. Right now, please, right now would be good.

But Steve, while staring at him, does not seem to approve of Bucky’s chosen Halloween attire. His police uniform costume lends that disapproval some bonus gravity too, not that Steve would need it with the Eyebrow of Doom™ out in full force. He clutches his baton and declares: “You can’t go around wearing that, everyone will stare at you, oh my God, why are you turning around and… why are you bending over? Oh my God, people will stare at your _ass_ all night long, oh my God!”

“It looks great, right?” Bucky says happily and wriggles said ass. “Nat helped me pick the pants, they make my ass look _amazing_ , don’t they?”

Steve does not seem to agree: Steve looks _scandalized_.

 

***

 

The disadvantages of Bucky’s sexy costume – which was a hit at the party, thank you very much! – become apparent when he and Steve are walking home and it’s _freezing_. Luckily Steve is going method and taking the whole ‘protect and serve’ thing very seriously, so he gives Bucky his uniform jacket. Bucky snuggles into it and walks along next to Steve, who is trying to be manly and not shiver without his jacket. Tough, he gave it up, so it’s Bucky’s now, Steve should have thought about that earlier. Or maybe Bucky should have gone with the sexy firefighter, that costume at least had pants and not just this leather loincloth thing that keeps riding up his crack.

He stops to tug it out before it can get too familiar with his asshole and Steve very gentlemanly averts his eyes until Bucky is finished. “Damn thing keeps trying to give me a rim job.” Steve mumbles something indecipherable. Bucky walks a few steps, then stops suddenly. “You really don’t like the costume?”

Steve chews on air for a few seconds. “People keep _staring_.” He finally mutters and glares at a random, innocent lamp post that is definitely not staring. “They just stare at your ass and your nipples and the stuff they say… it’s just… I didn’t like it. You’re not a… an _object_ and they make you one.”

Bucky – smiles. Can’t help it. Bounces a little on his feet. “You don’t like people staring at me?” He asks and grins widely, since he’s pretty sure Steve is not saying what Bucky thinks he’s not saying, and he’s totally saying _something_.

Steve glares at a mailbox, probably to the lamp post’s relief – that glare is quite… hot, actually. “ _No_.”

Bucky beams. “I like it when _you_ stare.” He admits and dares to take Steve’s hand. No totally means yes, right?! Yes to… things?

Steve stares down at their clasped hands and is quiet for a long time, enough for Bucky to start getting a little nervous. But eventually he looks up at Bucky and offers: “It’s not bad, your costume. Just… too tiny. And historically inaccurate.”

Bucky grins again and takes one step closer to Steve. “I got clothes at home. You could come and help me put some on? Comfy pants and a really big shirt?”

Steve starts smiling, ever so slowly. “Yeah, I’d like that. Comfy pants and your couch? Maybe a movie?”

Bucky nods and starts tugging Steve along. “You got yourself a deal, officer. And, you know, if you wanted to yawn and stealthily put your arm around me, I wouldn’t resist arrest.”

Steve laughs and lets himself be pulled along the sidewalk. “Noted. But maybe…”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe… you could leave on the loincloth?”

Bucky laughs and winks at Steve. “I can certainly do that.”

Best costume _ever_.

 

 

**THE END**


End file.
